Marriage Advice | Maryland Photographer

Today I’m sharing five simple pieces of marriage advice from Justin and I after five and a half years of marriage. I’m writing this on February 13th, exactly five and a half years to the day we said our marriage vows. We came up with this list because these are things that we need as much as anyone else. We personally don’t feel like any of these are profoundly deep or anything new, but they are very helpful to us in our marriage and we pray they’re helpful for you, too.

1. Always think the best of the other person. It’s a proven truth that we see what we want to see in others. So having an optimistic perspective, especially in the middle of a disagreement, helps to alleviate miscommunication.
2. Have fun together & don’t take yourself too seriously. This is mostly for me. I’m definitely the serious one in our relationship and can easily get too focused on what needs to be done and forget to have fun.
3. Talk rather than argue. Having disagreements isn’t a bad thing, it’s how you handle them that matters in your marriage. I’d also add communicate and communicate often. Don’t let the little things build up because that just leads to an overreaction down the road. Your spouse can’t read your mind so be sure to let them know what you’re thinking and feeling.
4. Have an outlet for stress so that you don’t take it out on the other person. For Justin this is very important since he has a stressful job. He spends a little time most days exercising for health, strength, and relaxation. He also needs time and relationships with other law enforcement who understand the pressures of the job so that he can be understood and supported in a way that I can’t offer to him since I don’t know first-hand what it’s like. I enjoy reading, gardening – or let’s be honest – as a mom I just enjoy 15 minutes to take a shower without interruption or worrying about the kids. I also enjoy time with my local community of women and Justin is super supportive of that.
5. Do as much together as you can. This one if my favorite. Probably because my main “love language” is quality time. For us this looks like running errands together on days he has off work (with kids in tow). We make these days into family days and try to make them fun even if it’s just a trip to the grocery store. We work on things around our house together when we can. If we are both home then we will tag-team chores or one of us will watch the boys while the other gets things done. Last week when it was warm outside he decided to start cleaning up the over-grown vegetable garden so I threw on my gardening gloves and jumped in to help while the boys and doggies played in the yard. I like working side by side. I assume that comes from my upbringing on the dairy farm. My mom and dad have worked side by side their entire relationship and as I grew up I was included, sometimes forced ;), into that.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day friends! I hope that you have a day filled with lots of love… “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13.

Check out other “Faith & Heart-Centered Encouragement” posts.